“If you pee in the swimming pool, You’ll turn the water Green!”
Yes, but getting out of the pool and getting dry just to pee and get back in is such a time-consuming effort! Isn’t that what they have chlorine for? For all the pee? For years it was understood that if you pee in the public pool it’s really not cool. Well actually, it’s downright gross. But it wont leave a tell tale trail of green water leading right to your bathing suit either. Rumours of the mythical dye go back as far as 1958, supposedly started by parents who wished to take their kids to a pee free pool. There are ways to determine how much pee there is in a pool, but it’s certainly not by turning it into a different colour.
“Turn the light off in the car, it’s illegal!”
It’s a distraction, that much is true. But will you get in trouble with the law for driving with your interior light on? Well, no. You won’t. However, there’s nothing to stop the cops from giving you a ticking off if they think your driving is awful with the lights on. But lets face it, isn’t everything better with the lights off?
“That drawing is FANTASTIC!”
No it’s not. It’s a series of lines and dots with no configuration and a possible ball sack with eyes? It’s important as kids that we’re given love and encouragement from our parents. But looking back, perhaps our artistic flair wasn’t there? Still, they put our ballsack eyes on the wall for all to see like a gallery of eyeballed genitalia. It’s Batman??? Oh…
“The Ice cream truck only plays music when it’s sold out!”
Better to save money and a life time of cavities, right? Then why are all the other kids running towards the sounds of Greensleeves and sugary goodness? The fact is, this one seems to have been a hit and miss for most kids. But for those who were told this god awful lie, does the echo of the ice cream truck still linger in your mind?
“If you swallow that seed, an apple tree will grow inside you!”
If the horror of an actual apple tree spurting forth from inside you was enough to reduce your five-a-day to four, then you’ll remember being told not to swallow your pips. I mean, obviously the human gut is the perfect breeding ground for plant life. It was never pleasant, taking a bit out of an apple and feeling those little suckers go down. But your chances of becoming a human orchard were nil.