The Stepfather Who Never Wanted Children…
Indulge me if you will. I want to tell you a story of a bloke who turned into a man. Maybe you’re a stepdad yourself or you’re dating someone who has children, you may be wondering just what the hell you’re going to do with a child in your life. Well, this is my ongoing experience.
I’ll take you back to a time not too long ago. It was a good time, a time filled with weekly drinking, buying needless things because you can, staying up late and watching/playing what you want when you want.
Most people called this time 2016. I called it being 30 years old.
Now, I grew up in a normal home in a normal village, somewhere in the middle of England. Bit of a problem child in school, so much so I got thrown out of secondary school when I was in year 8. As a result of this I had to find a new school which was located on the other side of town in a questionable area. This was the moment that shaped my entire life.
Because I went to a school on the other side of town, I had barely any friends where I lived. Before children went missing on a weekly basis, kids used to play outside. Go and hang out at the park well after dark, sleep at each others houses. This wasn’t me.
All of my friends in school were a bus ride and a 40 minute walk away, so a majority of the time I was at home with my mum. It wasn’t an unhappy childhood. I didn’t hate the fact that I spent a lot of my time in my room, alone. For me, it was normality.
Because of this normality I was used to peace and quiet. Sure I went out and got drunk like the rest when I got older, but I always hated clubs and I didn’t much like being around too many people I didn’t know. Every time I went out, I just couldn’t wait to go back home, alone and go back to being alone.
Yes, I had relationships. Yes, I dated women with children. But most of my relationships never lasted more than a year, usually after the initial shock wore off of being cheated on or just plain dumped, I went back to being alone in my fortress of solitude.
This pretty much continued until I got to the age of 30. An age many people dread, because for many this means that the fun days over. The age of responsibility starts. It’s time to settle down and have children. If you haven’t already got them that is.
For me, I’m one of those people who never wanted children. I don’t like children, I never have, family aside of course. I think it mainly comes from being comfortable with the life I had and not knowing what I’d do with a child in my life.
Being thrown up on, weeing everywhere, wiping bums. Being woken up all hours of the night with constant crying and screaming. Remembering to feed it. I barely remember to feed myself. Then they grow up, you have to constantly make sure they’re not going to kill themselves with their curiosity and clumsiness. Then you have to put up with tantrums, answering back when you tell them off.
No thank you, I’ll stay in front of my computer doing what I enjoy best, being alone.
Then it happened. Like the start of any good sitcom, I became a stepfather. The man who hated children suddenly had two of them running around.